No Problem: The Upside of Saying No
by Liesel Teversham (published May 2013)
- Have you, like me, felt nervous, sick with anxiety, stomach in a tight ball because of too much on your plate, deadlines looming and no possible way to meet all those commitments?
- Have you, like me, committed to something and in the very moment of saying "Yes, with pleasure!" already regretted it? And later resented yourself and the person who asked you to help out?
- Are you finding it really, really hard to ever let the word "no" pass your lips? Does it sound like a terribly selfish thing to say?
- Do you sometimes wonder "Why on earth have I taken on another task when my plate is so full already?"
- And does the thought of declining a request send your stomach into even deeper knots and twists?
It's an all-too-familiar story for me. I've walked this very journey for many years, at great cost to myself.
No Problem: The Upside of Saying No is a guide to help you understand what lies beyond the deep reluctance to say "I'm so sorry, this time I can't help". It's filled with stories, anecdotes, solid research, helpful practical tips, and a very effective and powerful tool to help you change the reluctance. This tool will not only help you to start saying "no" with much more easy - it will also help improve so many areas in your life.
Our current issues, challenges, fears and problems mostly stem from patterns learnt in childhood. This book investigates many of those origins and supplies helpful ways to overcome them.
It also talks about change, why it's normally hard and how to make it easier. Saying "no" is probably a really big change for those drawn to this book. It explains why kindness with yourself and those around you during the process of change is better than cracking the proverbial and familiar whip.
It contains valuable information on the brain, the fight-flight-freeze response, how our bodies are in a way addicted to our version of "normal" - and how to gently break those patterns.
It helps us to create a future that's different from the past, in small manageable steps.
Watch a one minute video trailer of "No Problem. The Upside of Saying No" below!
Who is this book for?
It's for you if:
- You're regularly overwhelmed, stressed and anxious with everything on your plate
- You keep saying "yes" when you really meant "no"
- You never get to do what you really love doing, like hobbies or other pleasant things that make your heart sing
- You'd like to learn how to say start saying "no" in a kind way
- You don't want to hurt people and therefore help them instead of yourself
- You feel yourself instantly "hooked" when someone else makes a request
- You feel like "they won't like you" if you say "no"
- You want to learn a profound, effective stress-relief tool to handle all stressful situations in life
- You'd like to understand why on earth it's so hard to say "no"
- You'd like to pinpoint the underlying reasons that keep you saying "yes"
- You'd like to find out what happens in the brain when you fear saying "no"
- You'd like to learn about The Enneagram personality system, and how our Type influences "yes" or "no"
- You've heard about codependency and boundaries and suspect you may have some issues around that
- You've had a difficult childhood
- You were taught it's selfish to look out for yourself - you're supposed to look after everyone else first
I invite you to take a stand for yourself, your worth, your value as a human being. Let yourself know that you're important to you, that you are taking steps to put yourself on your own priority list.
This email guide, delivered over a span of 30 days will help you implement what you learn while you read the book.
Words of encouragement
It takes courage, maybe some stretching in ways that feel uncomfortable when we make a change. That's part of the growth process. The butterfly has to struggle to get out of the cocoon. The tight cocoon and the efforts that the butterfly makes in order to squeeze out of that tiny hole are Nature’s way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings. We, too, sometimes have to strengthen our wings and it doesn't happen overnight. Change takes time, new knowledge, patience and a lot of kindness.
This book will help you with all of these aspects. I invite you to find out how to start creating a life of design and choice!